Normal People (by Sally Rooney)

"It's funny the decisions you make because you like someone, he says, and then your whole life is different. I think we're at that weird age where life can change a lot from small decisions."

I had heard about the craze around Normal People before I read it. People in social media were going crazy for it, and then the TV show came around. Even my mum watched it. So I was playing around with the thought of reading it for a while. But it wasn't until last week that I bought the book to do so.

The Daily Telegraph called it "the most enjoyable novel of the year", and Dolly Alderton "literally couldn't put [it] down". Whilst I don't totally agree with the former, I certainly concur with the latter. It was a very addictive book, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was gripping, heart-breaking and tormenting in all of the right places. This book was written with the intent to push the reader onwards. And it certainly did that. Not every book has the ingredients to earn itself a place at the book adaptation table. So after I finished reading, I completely understood why Rooney was offered television rights for this book, and I cannot wait to watch it.

I think the only reason I haven't watched the show yet, is due to the fact I wanted a clean slate with this book. I didn't want to be swayed by the series adaptation of the characters; rather, I wanted Connell and Marianne to live inside my head for a while longer. I wanted to allow each character to be shaped by my imagination instead of Abrahamson and Macdonald's (Normal People Directors).

When I was younger, I didn't give myself the chance to breathe and absorb the creations in my head. I would watch the adaption and use that as the basis when I read. But now that I am older, I have learnt from my ways. I am more able to grasp and appreciate the art of a book within its own right and create my own interpretation of what I read that exists solely in my head.

(Warning: Spoilers)

Rooney created two beautifully broken characters. At times I felt that Rooney was romanticising their brokenness; as if they each had the pieces within themselves to fix each other. As romantic as that is, that shouldn't be the case. We see Marianne is dealing with a lot at home. Her family have rejected her, and continue to emotionally/ physically abuse her; especially brother. As a result, she is left feeling worthless "like there's no life inside of her". The moments when she is at her happiest seem to revolve around Connell. He is her lighthouse, but whenever he isn't around, she is shrouded in darkness and crashes against the sharp rocks; depression, abusive boyfriends and her cruel family.

Many times we see Marianne take on a submissive role within her relationships with guys. Even with Connell, she was entirely in his power, and he knew that. Sometimes, it disgusted him how much control he had over her. But it seemed to her that to be a good girlfriend, she had to act that way with each guy she was with, even though she didn't want to.

"With Jamie, it's like I'm acting a part, I just pretend to feel that way, like I'm in his power. But with you that really was the dynamic, I actually had those feelings, I would have done anything you wanted me to."

That "dynamic" of their relationship and by extension, the book, did make me feel uncomfortable. It wasn't until the end that Marianne stood up for herself when she was sexually abused and taken advantage of by a guy when she went to Sweden.

"Get away from me. Don't ever talk to me like that again.' ... Could he really do the gruesome things he does to her and believe at the same time that he's acting out of love."

It was a punch in the air moment. I just wanted to rip her away from every guy that treated her like trash and help her see the beautifully amazing women that the readers and Connell could see. This moment almost made her journey worth it. But it only got better when she was reunited with Connell at the end, and he showed her a safe medium, loving version of the submission she was used to in the past.

"How strange to feel herself so completely under the control of another person, but also how ordinary."

Still a bit iffy, but anything is better than that Swedish guy.

Connell went on a journey of self-discovery throughout this book. He was contemplating how he would define himself away from the fame of high-school and the indifference of university. Connell was in the popular crowd as high-school and Marianne was the school reject; as a result, he couldn't (he didn't want to) tell anyone at school about his secret relationship with her. But this changed when they went to university. She was the popular one, and he was holding onto her for social validation.

He once describes his sense of self being entirely wrapped up in Marianne. Which we do see a lot of when he was in a relationship with a lovely girl, but we could see that deep down Connell always belonged to Marianne and vice versa. It was a will-they-won't-they story to the extreme. Many times throughout the book, I thought that they were done romantically. But they always found their way back to each other in some way. That's how I knew this book was so good. Rooney kept her readers guessing. And I suppose we will keep on guessing until their story is concluded.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the TV series.

(Calling it now: He will leave. She will stay. But they will eventually be together... someday.)